Moments in Time: The Complete Novella Collection Read online

  Anger broiled inside me. “I can’t believe this. How could this happen?” Here I was, living with a burden that had almost destroyed me. A burden that could have been lighter. “After they found the report, why didn’t they tell me?”

  “My guess is they didn’t want to place a spotlight on their mistakes. They had been sloppy with several other cases too. Now, the chief of police and a few other officers have been suspended from duty.”

  “Carlene, I’m sorry. I feel like a fool for refusing to hear you out,” Nick said, pulling me to him. “I was just so shocked and angry. I didn’t know what to think or do.”

  “I only found out Chris was your brother when I saw you had a birthmark identical to his.”

  “At the Lux?”

  “Yes, in the morning.”

  “That’s why you left so suddenly?”

  “I couldn’t stay. I needed to find out if my suspicions were correct. When I went home, I did an Internet search and found a photo of you and Chris together.”

  Nick sighed. “The only photo of us. I’d taken it with my phone. Someone must have gotten their hands on it.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head. “You never again need to be sorry. What happened, happened.”

  “I can’t believe it.” I covered my mouth as tears flooded my eyes, washing away some of the pain of the last few years, the guilt, the shame. “I could be innocent,” I said between my trembling fingers.

  “You are.” Nick produced a tissue from his pocket and handed it to me.

  “Thank you,” I blew my nose and wiped my eyes. “Thank you for finding proof that I’m innocent.”

  He placed his hand on my knee and squeezed. “When I had the case reopened, I convinced myself I wanted to prove your guilt.” He sighed. “In truth, I wanted to find out if there was a chance at all that you could be innocent.”

  “But you knew the chances were slim, since I had already confessed.”

  He nodded. “I knew I was searching in the dark, but I couldn’t stop.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t.” Meeting Nick gave me two things to be grateful for. He had shown me how it felt to fall in love again. And if we had never met, I’d have continued my life thinking I killed a person, someone I’d loved.

  “Not as glad as I am. Even if the results broke my heart just as much as they relieved me.”

  “Nick, where do you think Chris got cyanide from? If it’s that lethal, it can’t be easily accessible.”

  “The police said he must have bought it on the Internet. I think a person can buy anything online these days.”

  “You’re right.” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “But I can’t help thinking I could have done something, anything, to save him. I should have saved him somehow.”

  “Sometimes things just happen. He wanted to go, and there’s nothing you, me, or anyone else could have done. You have to stop feeling guilty.”

  I nodded. “Okay.” But I wasn’t quite satisfied with his answer. I would never forget the memory of Chris with the gun to his head, his determined eyes as he prepared to die, the sound of the gunshot, the metallic smell of his blood on my hands. He died in my arms as my tears mixed with his blood. I’d called 9-1-1 immediately, but by the time the police and ambulance arrived, it was too late. Chris’s life was nothing but a memory.

  But Nick was right. If I wanted to live my life, I had to stop blaming myself. I might not be able to forget, but maybe one day the memories would fade and their power over me would lessen. And maybe I’d create new ones with Nick.

  Nick pulled me into a hug, stroking my hair with one hand as he whispered into my ear. “It’s all over. You can let go of the past now.”

  I leaned against his shoulder and breathed in his spicy, masculine scent. Only some of the weight rolled off my shoulders. The thought of Chris hurting so much that he never wanted to see another day killed me inside. I felt a slice of guilt at not having been able to help him more than I had. But I had to move forward in the comfort that he had found the peace he’d been searching for most of his life.

  “Spend the night at my place,” he said. “Now that we have the question of your innocence out of the way, there are some other things we need to catch up on.”

  “Sure.” I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him. I had found happiness with Chris once, but that had been the heavy kind. My happiness with Nick was airy. Free. “How did you know where I was?” I asked.

  “Your friend Melisa called my personal assistant and wouldn’t give up until I talked to her. I was planning to come looking for you, anyway, in the next few days. But she told me you were thinking of leaving town. I’m glad I made it in time. Tell me you’ll change your mind about leaving.”

  Now that I was innocent, Serendipity didn’t seem like such a bad place to start over. “I changed my mind.” I smiled broadly.

  He kissed me lightly on the cheek. “That’s a great decision.”

  Neither of us uttered another word as we rode to his place, and yet emotions flowed freely between us. A dream coming true usually renders one speechless. Nick was truly my knight in shining armor. I needed him in every way.

  Chapter Eight

  It turned out Nick lived in the massive hotel suite where we’d made love the first night we’d spent together. Well, why the hell not? He owned the Lux Hotel, after all.

  Once we were inside, he closed the door behind us, and in one swift motion, swept me off my feet and carried me to the bedroom, where he laid me gently on the bed. He positioned himself above me and lowered his lips to mine. His tongue teased and traced the edges of my lips first, then parted them.

  We dove into a hungry kiss, our mouths devouring one another’s, tongues embracing. He sucked and gently nipped my lips before taking my mouth in his again.

  Then, without saying a word, he unbuttoned my shirt, pausing between each button to kiss the spot it had helped conceal. He pulled me up by the arms and peeled the whole thing off. Before laying me down again, he wrapped his hands around me and unhooked my bra while his breath fanned the sensitive place where my neck and shoulders met.

  I slipped out of my bra, releasing my breasts, which he cupped and squeezed together.

  He buried his face between them and inhaled. “I love your smell.”

  I kissed the top of his head, which smelled like the ocean. “Not as much as I love yours.”

  A breeze from the open window swept over the naked parts of my body, turning me on even more. A flicker of excitement bubbled up inside me. I was going to make love to him again. Finally. We still had a lot to talk about, but all of that could wait. Right now, we needed to communicate in a physical way.

  Nick took his time removing his sweater, jeans, and underwear.

  He stood in front of me, shoulders and chest broad and well sculpted, his stomach firm, with hair only in the right places, and his erection ready for me.

  Desire swept over me, and I was soaking wet in anticipation. I could have orgasmed without him even touching me. But I knew what would come next.

  We’d never really made love before. We’d had sex, but it had been the hot, hungry, desperate kind, as if we were afraid the moment would slip away.

  As he lowered himself down on the bed, I expected him to ravish me like before. But instead of tearing off my underwear and entering me, he removed my panties like he was performing an unveiling. Instead of throwing them to the floor, he folded them and placed them on the leather armchair next to the bed. He kissed me again, deeply, taking his time caressing every inch of my lips, mouth, tongue. Then he moved his tongue along every inch of me, searing a path down the length of my body.

  The spot between my legs throbbed as he moved his attention there and massaged my clitoris rhythmically with his fingers, alternating fast and slow.

  I moaned and bit my bottom lip to prevent myself from screaming out.

  “Are you liking this? Tell me what you want me to do to you,” he said. “I wan
t to make you happy.” He sucked on my chin and at the same time, inserted a finger into me, which he rotated while massaging my clitoris with his thumb. ”You deserve to be happy.”

  Enough—I couldn’t bear it any longer. I wanted him more than I wanted my next breath. “It’s perfect.”

  I arched my back as he moved his face downward and slipped one of my nipples into his mouth, then sucked on it gently, furiously, and then gently again. He moved to the other and gave it the same treatment.

  As fire spread from my nipples to the rest of my body and pooled between my thighs, I curled my fingers into his hair and tugged at it. “That feels so good. I missed you so much, Nick… but I’d love to feel you inside me.”

  “Not yet.” He slowed down. “We don’t have to rush,” he said against my lips. “We have all night.” He kissed my face, my ears, and moved to my throat, planting warm, damp kisses on my boiling skin.

  He continued pleasuring me until lighting struck and his name rolled off my tongue.

  With a smile playing on his lips, he pulled me against his hard, warm body and held me until my breathing became even again. He didn’t let go, didn’t make a move for his own pleasure. In fact, he whispered, “I love you,” and fell asleep holding me in the cradle of his arms, skin to skin. Surprised but secure, I drifted off as well, into the deepest sleep I’d had in a long time.

  ***

  Something pressed hard against my thigh, and my eyes fluttered open.

  Nick was crouched on top of me, pressing my thighs apart with his knees. His white teeth sparkled in the moonlight that flooded in from the window. “We were not done,” he whispered.

  I giggled as my desire for him instantly unfurled. “No, we weren’t.”

  He pushed my thighs wider apart and, with his gaze fixed on my face, entered me.

  I let out a scream. He was so big and hard that it hurt—but in the most wonderful way. I wrapped my legs tightly around him and crossed my ankles to lock him inside my circle. “You’re so deep. I love it.”

  He slid his hands under my butt and pressed me harder to him. “And you’re so tight.”

  “You fit perfectly.”

  He sucked my bottom lip and rammed harder into me, releasing a current that whizzed right to the tips of my fingers and toes.

  My knees weakened and I lost the hold I’d had on him with my legs.

  He caught my legs, lifted them all the way to my chest so my feet were above my head, and rammed into me again, even harder this time. He did it again and again and again, harder and faster, our moans mingling at every thrust. His body stiffened at the same time mine did. With one more thrust, we came, one right after the other, and he called out my name this time.

  I smiled. He was finally mine, and this time, I was going nowhere.

  “Just to clear up things, both Carlene and Marianne are my names,” I said. I didn’t want him to think I’d adopted a new identity.

  “I know. I saw it in the police records.” Nick kissed my forehead. “Marianne is your first name, but Carlene is the woman I fell in love with.”

  ***

  “Tell me about him.” Nick said later as we lay in each other’s arms.

  “Chris?”

  He nodded.

  I closed my eyes. It hurt to talk about Chris, but I had put Nick through enough. I owed him a few memories of his brother.

  Many great things defined Chris, but they were always accompanied by less great ones. I had to tell Nick the sad truth about Chris—only then could he truly get to know his brother. “He was brilliant and fearless, but shattered.”

  “I wish his life had been different. If only I could have traded places with him.”

  “What exactly happened? He never mentioned he was a twin, only that he discovered he had a brother. Do you know why you were separated at birth?”

  “My mother was sixteen when she got pregnant, and her parents, who were highly religious, were ashamed of her. To ensure no one found out their daughter had conceived a baby out of wedlock, they forced her to abort.” Nick shook his head. “Funny how they wanted to hide one sin by committing another, a worse one in my opinion. I guess keeping up the appearance of religiosity was more important to them than religion itself?”

  “That’s horrible. I’m glad your mom refused.”

  “So am I. Instead, she ran away from home and stayed in a mother and child center. She had no idea she was expecting twins. When we were born, she knew she wouldn’t be able to care for two babies. She could barely take care of herself. So, one of the ladies at the center advised her to give one away in hopes he’d have a better life than the one she could offer.”

  “So you stayed with your mother, and Chris was the one she gave away.”

  Nick nodded. “Did he at least have good parents? A good life?”

  I shook my head sadly. “Yes and no. He said they were good to him. They did love him. His adoptive mother became pregnant a year after they adopted him, but the baby was stillborn. From that point, her life derailed and she fell into a deep depression that lasted for years… until she ended her own life.”

  “Her too?” Nick’s eyebrows shot up and he shook his head. “How tragic.”

  “It is. She died with Chris sleeping in the other room.”

  Nick pinched the bridge of his nose and was silent for a long time. His voice was hoarse and cracked when he said, “No wonder he became depressed too. I wish I could have been there for him.”

  “Why weren’t you? Why didn’t you come looking for him?”

  “I was sixteen when my mother told me I had a twin brother. I became obsessed with searching for him everywhere. In the mall, on the streets, at the post office. So did our mother. It took years, but I eventually found him.”

  A buried memory surfaced and I gasped softly. “Goodness, yes. He did tell me once, about a month before he died, that he’d found his brother. He didn’t mention you were twins, though. How was it when you met for the first time?”

  “We met up a couple of times… maybe three. We were different, but we still hit it off. It was emotional. He didn’t tell you?”

  “Only thing I knew was he was in contact with you. Nothing else. Maybe he was being cautious, wanted to make sure you were staying in his life before he told me more.”

  “Maybe.”

  As I reflected on the last days of Chris’s life, a conversation I’d had with him suddenly popped into my mind, and I shared it with Nick.

  Chris had arrived home at three in the morning, drunk, even though he hardly drank. He kept repeating to himself things I could not understand, but in retrospect, maybe he had been making sense.

  “I don’t need him, I don’t need them. Not to show up, who does he think he is?” he’d slurred. “To hell with him. To hell with the world. I’m done.” He’d then flopped onto the bed and fallen asleep immediately. The next day, when I’d asked him what he’d meant, he’d refused to talk about it, said it wasn’t important. Two weeks later, he was dead.

  Nick sat up and buried his head in his hands. “If anyone is guilty of Chris’s death, it’s me.”

  I rubbed his back in circular motions. “That’s not true. How’s it your fault?”

  “Chris was obviously talking about me. I missed our appointment.”

  I cocked my head to the side.

  “Some weeks before Chris died,” Nick continued, “he called me to arrange another meeting, but I was being interviewed for a newspaper article, so I asked my assistant, Sarah, to take the call. She made a lunch appointment with him. I showed up at the restaurant where the reservation had been made.” He lifted his head again and let out a long breath. “But Chris never showed up. I found out later that Sarah had made a mistake. She had mixed up the dates somehow. My lunch with Chris had been meant for the following day. Chris must have shown up and thought I’d stood him up.”

  “Did you explain that to him?”

  “I wanted to, but he never took my calls. I left a number of messages but he
never called back. Then I heard of his death.”

  That was probably what had driven him over the edge. He’d thought he was being rejected again, that he wasn’t important enough to his successful brother. But I wasn’t about to say that to Nick. “You couldn’t have known, Nick. It wasn’t your fault.” I turned him to face me. “Like you said, things happen sometimes, and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

  “Yeah,” Nick said. “I guess I, too, have to learn to live with this.”

  “I think we should concentrate on the good things about Chris. I’ll tell you all about what a wonderful person he was. Then we have to move on.”

  I had a new lease on life, and I intended to make the most of it. It would take time until the nightmares disappeared. But some memories would stay with me for the rest of my life. Like seeing him die before my eyes.

  As I snuggled up to Nick, I remembered something that confirmed what Nick had told me earlier. Chris had lost strength and collapsed on me moments before the gun went off. Now it all made sense.

  I was innocent. I just had to make myself believe it.

  Chapter Nine

  I lifted my head off Nick’s chest and ran a finger along his jaw. “I have to go.”

  He brushed my hair back from my face. “Where are you going so early? I thought we’d spend the day in bed.” He smirked. “I hope you won’t disappear out of my life like you did last time.”

  “Not a chance. You’re stuck with me.” I kissed him on his sleepy eyelids and got out of bed. “I promised Lynnette, at the shelter, that I’d help with the breakfast shift.”

  Nick pulled himself to a sitting position. “I have an idea,” he said. “Apart from a few international calls tonight, I’m free all day. Why don’t I come with you? I don’t only know how to eat breakfast; I know how to serve it, too.” He smiled. “I’d love to come and help out.”

  “You mean that?”

  “I never say anything I don’t mean.”

  “I think that’s a wonderful idea. That way we can still spend the day together.”

  Forty minutes later, after a quick, sensual shower together, we arrived at the shelter. Lynnette and Melisa were overjoyed to see Nick more than me. Melisa, with visible stars in her eyes, even gave him a kiss on the cheek.