To Live Again (Learning to live again, #1) Read online

  "Hi, Kelsey. It's Shaun. I got your phone number from Brian." His voice was strong and clear—no trace of sleep. He sounded like he'd been awake for hours. "Did I wake you? I can call back later."

  "No, it's fine. I'm awake." She ran a hand through her hair.

  "There's a place each cook, or wannabe cook, must see. The farmer's market. I discovered it a few weeks ago. It's open only on Saturdays. I'll be going there in two hours. Do you want to come along?"

  Kelsey blinked the sleep from her eyes and moved the phone to her other ear. A smile spread across her face. She couldn't resist another chance to be with him. "I'm not a cook yet, but okay."

  When Kelsey left the cottage at noon, Shaun met her outside the gate. He was wearing a black leather jacket and his hair lay flat on his head, damp from the soft drizzle.

  During the twenty minutes it took them to drive to the market, Kelsey was thankful for the music playing on the radio; there was no uneasy silence to fill.

  Shaun kept his hands firmly on the wheel and his eyes focused on the road. He was an incredibly careful driver, and she still found it odd. Apart from a word here and there, he hardly even spoke. It seemed as though he didn't want to be distracted.

  She couldn't help shooting him occasional sidelong glances. She studied his strong jaw, chiseled face, and five-o'clock shadow, then moved to his manly hands. She had to clasp her own hands in her lap to prevent herself from resting her hand on his thigh.

  "Like what you see?" he asked and she peered out the window so he wouldn't see her blush.

  "I don't know what you mean."

  "I could feel you watching me."

  Kelsey swallowed hard and clasped her sweaty hands tighter. Had she been so obvious? "Sorry." What else could she say?

  He chuckled from deep within his throat and didn't say anything more.

  She relaxed when they finally pulled into a parking lot.

  "It's only a five-minute walk from here."

  Kelsey smiled and unhooked her seatbelt. She climbed out of the truck and quietly walked beside him. The rain had stopped now and the sun gleamed down from the spaces between the clouds.

  "So, what's special about this farmer's market?" Kelsey asked.

  "It's a culinary delights heaven. If you loved food before, you'll fall in love with it all over again."

  He was right. As they approached a sea of stalls overflowing with fresh jams, chocolate, pastries, fruits, and vegetables, a thrill coursed through Kelsey and the awkward moment in the car was forgotten.

  Social banter and bargaining filled the air, and traditional music and cheerful laughter welcomed them.

  Shaun placed the palm of his hand on the small of her back and guided her through the river of people. Even through her jacket, heat flooded the place where his palm rested so casually.

  "This is amazing," she said as they passed a stall with a pig on a spit.

  "I agree. I come here almost every Saturday."

  "I can see why."

  "Shall we get something to eat?" he asked.

  "How can I refuse?"

  They found a free bench under a blue tent and feasted upon warm, freshly baked bread smothered with herbs and seeds. Small cubes of homemade butter melted from the loaf's heat.

  "Thanks for inviting me here." Kelsey sank her teeth into her bread and watched Shaun watching her. She didn't look away. The man she saw in him seemed so different from the one everybody gossiped about. They called him a womanizer, but she hadn't seen a single woman enter or leave his cottage.

  The bread was the most delicious brunch Kelsey had ever eaten. But it wasn't just the food that she enjoyed. It was the cool air on her cheeks, the sound of children laughing in the distance, the genuine smiles of the people all around them... and Shaun...

  "Hang on." Shaun slid closer on the bench. He reached out and brushed a crumb from the corner of her mouth, leaving it tingling. Then he offered her a hand and they rose.

  They explored more stalls until Shaun suddenly halted and looked at her with a wicked grin. "Let's give them something to talk about."

  Kelsey frowned. "What do you mean?"

  "Don't you see everyone staring at us? I guess they're wondering what a girl like you is doing with a man like me."

  Kelsey looked around, and sure enough, people were staring. "Wow, they're not even making an effort to hide it. Are we that interesting?"

  "I'm sure they think you're my latest conquest."

  Kelsey lowered her gaze. "They'll soon find out that's not true... We're only friends." She tried not to sound disappointed.

  "Or we can give them something to talk about. Then we can go back to being friends."

  Kelsey met his gaze again, which was dark with mischief. "What do you mean?"

  Instead of answering her question, Shaun pulled her against him and kissed her hard on the lips. At first, she froze in his arms, too shocked to think about what to do next. But his kiss had an effect on her... She melted under his touch. Against her will, she found herself parting her lips and allowing her tongue to tangle with his. As his tongue teased hers and explored her mouth, her legs lost all strength, but he held her firmly. She wound her fingers into his hair to deepen the kiss, but he stopped and moved his lips away, leaving her weak and dizzy, and aching for more.

  Touching her pulsating lips with the tips of her fingers, she looked around. Some people still gawked, while others turned away in apparent disgust.

  Humiliation washed over her. The new girl had become entangled with the mysterious womanizer. Publicly.

  "Now, let's pretend nothing happened." Shaun slipped his hand through her arm and nodded at two giggling teenagers.

  On trembling legs, Kelsey followed. She was completely under his spell.

  They both did some shopping at various stalls, and then started walking back to the truck. During their walk, Kelsey wanted to talk about what had happened, but she couldn't form the words. She was scared to even think about what was happening. The sexual tension between them was so strong, it terrified her. She couldn't have a one-night stand with this man. She didn't think she could stop at one night.

  "You know," Shaun finally said. "I'm not one for PDAs, but what happened back there was damn satisfying."

  "I... I enjoyed it too." She could still feel the memory of his lips on hers.

  "You should have seen the looks on their faces," Shaun continued.

  Kelsey's heart sank. "That's what you enjoyed most?"

  "That and your kissable lips, of course. Who wouldn't want to kiss you?"

  She was dumbfounded. Should she thank him? On one hand she was flattered, but on the other she felt used. Mostly, she was angry with herself for running straight into a train wreck. She decided not to say anything, not even during the drive home.

  "I hate eating alone," Shaun said as they stood in front of Kelsey's gate. He lifted the two white bags filled with his shopping from the market. "Do you want to join me for dinner?"

  "Who's cooking?" Kelsey smiled. He wanted to spend time with her twice in the same day. Even though he'd said their kiss meant nothing, there was something between them—some delicate thread she wanted to explore further. But for now, as he'd proposed, she'd act as if the kiss hadn't happened. She was an adult and she could handle it. All in all, he had been kind to her. The least she could do was join him for dinner..

  "I'll do the cooking. I know a thing or two, you know."

  Kelsey cocked an eyebrow. "What? You never said."

  "You never asked." He chuckled. "So, dinner at eight?"

  Why not? "Sure. See you at eight."

  ***

  Shaun laid a hand on Kelsey's back—a little too close to her butt—and ushered her through his sitting room toward the kitchen.

  She discreetly surveyed the room. A teak table in front of a window was overflowing with notebooks, sport and writing magazines, a navy blue shirt, and what seemed to be a voice recorder. A half-full glass of orange juice stood on top of a magazine on t
he windowsill.

  As they stepped through the door, she felt his silky breath on her neck. This was not good; it was not part of the plan.

  "I look forward to cooking for you."

  "Hmmm... thanks." Since accepting his dinner invitation, she had almost cancelled twice. She had feelings for him, and she was kidding herself in thinking they could be ordinary neighbors enjoying a casual dinner together. No man had ever cooked a meal for her. And the man she didn't want to get attached to was doing all the right things.

  He pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and waved a hand. "Why don't you take a seat? Food will be ready in a bit."

  Kelsey's stomach growled on cue, and on instinct, she tightened her stomach muscles as if that would shut it up. Wrong. It rumbled again twice. Loudly. She bit her lip. Talk about embarrassing.

  "Looks like your stomach is ready to be fed." Shaun gave her a mischievous smile as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.

  Kelsey bit her lip. "Sorry."

  "Nothing to be sorry for. Now, I have work to do. I shall not make the lady wait any longer." Without wasting time, Shaun sprang straight into action. His comfort in the kitchen was sexy. She wondered whether he often cooked his own meals.

  "It's such a luxury to prepare my own food," Shaun said, as if he'd read her mind. "And cooking is so relaxing. I can understand why you'd want to be a chef."

  Kelsey shook her head and laughed. "I can't believe you didn't say anything about your cooking skills before."

  Shaun laughed, the sound echoing off the walls. "I didn't want to outshine you." He placed a small glass bowl of olives, and a platter of perfectly julienned vegetables and dip in front of her. "I made this. Tell me if you like it." He pulled a plain white folded apron from a drawer and tied it around his waist.

  "Let's see." Kelsey picked up a long, thin piece of carrot and dipped it into the green dip. She took a bite and swooned. She had never tasted a more delicious avocado dip in her life. "This is delicious. You really made this?"

  "Yes, baby. That's all me."

  Shaun confused her. He talked as if he cared about her, as if he was flirting. And yet there was this other side to him everyone said he had. She couldn't see the heartbreaker. Apart from the stunt he pulled at the market, he seemed like a gentle, caring man. She couldn't imagine him trampling on anyone's feelings. She tried hard not to stare, but her gaze kept flickering over his well-built body, and then at his masculine hands as he deftly chopped an onion.

  "Well, it's the best thing I've ever had," she said.

  Shaun peered over his shoulder with a mischievous smile that made the corners of his eyes crinkle. "You sure about that?" His tone said he was no longer talking about food.

  Kelsey's cheeks burned bright red. "You're bad."

  He turned away again. "No, I'm not bad, Kelsey. I'm worse." He paused. "I'm a jerk."

  Kelsey coughed up the carrot she was about to swallow. "You're what?" She burst out laughing.

  "A jerk, an ass, or whatever you want to call it."

  "How can you say something like that about yourself?"

  "I don't. Others do." He turned to face her again, arms crossed. "Or they think it at least. Word around town is I'm a heartless womanizer."

  "And you don't have a problem with what people say about you?"

  A slow smile formed on his lips. "Why should I? I don’t have time to worry about what people here think of me."

  "So it's true." Kelsey felt a twinge deep inside. "You're everything they say you are... a womanizer? Did you really sleep with most women in this town?" She was getting personal, but he'd brought up the topic.

  Shaun approached the table. He sat down beside her and leaned in so close that Kelsey worried he could hear her heart thumping. "What do you think? Do you think that's true?"

  Kelsey swallowed her carrot. "I don't know you... not really. You don't say much about yourself." She held her breath. Having him so close was making her dizzy.

  Shaun dipped a finger into the dip and lifted it to her lips. She hesitated for a moment, but then parted her lips and allowed his finger to slip in. She sucked the dip off quickly and turned her head. Why in the world did she do that? Now there was a tingling between her legs she was finding hard to ignore.

  "Looks like you're enjoying the dip," Shaun whispered, a note of humor in his voice.

  Kelsey blushed. "I... yes. It's great." Oh God, what was he doing to her?

  Shaun moved closer until his lips were only a whisper from hers. "Kelsey, I haven't slept with every woman in this town... yet. And I don't break women's hearts. They do it to themselves." His voice was raw now. "I'm always honest about what I want and don't want. Many choose to ignore that." He stood and returned to the stove, putting his focus back on the meal he was preparing.

  Kelsey didn't know what to say to that.

  "Ready to eat?" he asked a few minutes later. The man she'd had a sneak peek of a few minutes ago was gone, and the friendly neighbor was back.

  They ate mostly in silence. Though the fish and vegetable stir fry was delicious, Kelsey was unable to concentrate on her food. Her emotions were all over the place; she thought of his finger inside her mouth, the passionate look in his eyes when he'd made his confession about loving women. He was bad news, even if he was magnetic. If she got entangled with him, she'd get hurt. He'd pretty much made it clear he wasn't interested in more than sex.

  There was only one thing for her to do. She had to take a step back. She couldn't risk her heart for a one-night stand.

  ***

  After Kelsey left, Shaun opened the dishwasher. He had just started to rinse the plates when his cell phone rang. He wiped his hands with a dishcloth and picked up, frowning.

  "Shaun, Branna here. Where are you? I thought you were coming over tonight. I can also come to your place, if you like."

  Shaun massaged his left temple. He had completely forgotten about her. "Actually," he said, "Tonight won't be possible. Something came up. I was just about to call you." It was a lie.

  There was a pause on the other end, but when Branna spoke, her voice was hopeful. "Okay, that's fine. How about tomorrow? I have the day off. I could cook you dinner."

  "No." Shaun leaned against the table. "I'm afraid this whole week will be crazy for me. I have a lot of writing to do." This was exactly why he made it a point to never sleep with the same woman more than once. Branna was a waitress at Conaire's Corner, with red hair and a great body. He'd broken his own rule and slept with her twice. Now she was going on as if they were a couple. He had to put an end to it now before it became too complicated. He inhaled sharply. "Look, Branna, you're great. And it was fun, but—"

  "Are you dumping me?" Her voice was a faint squeak. "I thought..."

  Shaun gritted his teeth. "I'm sorry, I don't do this. I don't date. I did tell you, remember? I was up-front with you."

  "I thought you were joking."

  "I don't joke about things like that."

  Well," Branna's voice had transformed into a thin razorblade, "fuck you." The phone went dead.

  Shaun raked a hand through his hair and swore under his breath. Kelsey was to blame for this mess. Since the day he met her, he'd found it hard to focus on other women. The second time he had sex with Branna, a few days ago, it had been Kelsey he’d made love to.

  But Kelsey was the one woman he didn't want to get involved with. If he touched her, he'd end up breaking all his rules.

  Chapter Ten

  "Door's open," Sarah called from inside their cottage.

  Kelsey moved the basket to her left hand and pushed the door open. It still amazed her how people in Dreara didn't think twice about leaving their doors unlocked. That would never happen in Saulery. But then again, if she'd remembered to lock her door the other day, Shaun wouldn't have been able to alert her about the burning pot.

  Brian was reading a dog-eared book and Sarah was knitting. They both looked up in surprise when she entered.

  "Wow, Kelsey, your h
air is lovely," Sarah said. "Maeve was right; your eyes do stand out more. They're such a lovely blue."

  Kelsey ran a hand through her hair. She was still getting used to having it short, but she loved her new hairstyle more each day. "Thank you. Maeve did a fantastic job."

  Brian stood up to greet Kelsey. "We were starting to wonder what had happened to you."

  "I've been busy settling in. This is for you both—something I picked up at the farmer's market."

  Sarah put down her knitting and reached for the basket. "That's so kind of you."

  "It's a major tourist attraction," Brian said. "Did you go alone?"

  "No, I went with... Shaun."

  Brian and Sarah exchanged a quick glance and then Sarah cleared her throat and smiled. "That's... that's nice, but you really didn't have to get us something, love." She placed the basket on her lap.

  "It's just something small. A thank you for your kindness."

  "Take a seat." Sarah stood. "Can I get you something to drink?"

  "Don't worry, I'm not staying long. I just came to ask you for some information."

  Sarah and Brian both perked up, as if all along they'd just been waiting to be useful. "What would you like to know?" Sarah sat down again.

  "Do you know of any culinary schools in Dreara?"

  "You want to be a chef?" Sarah leaned forward, her softly lined face lighting up.

  "Since I was a little girl. I'm interested in taking some lessons. But I don't know where to start searching for a school. I thought you might be able to help me out."

  Kelsey felt a guilty pang at having asked them instead of Shaun, who had spurred her on in the first place and offered to help find a school. But for the past week, she'd tried to distance herself from him. She couldn't spend time with him without wanting to climb into his bed. And she couldn't sleep with him without getting hurt. The best thing to do was to stay away for a while and concentrate on herself. A cooking lesson would keep her busy enough.

  "I know just the place." Brian stood and reached for his coat. "I can take you there right now if you're ready to go."

  "More than ready."

  ***

  The Cooking Academy was attached to the Dreara Junior Secondary School. Brian waited in the car while Kelsey went inside to enquire. He had offered to go in with her, but Kelsey wanted to do it alone.